ramblings of 2/7/12.

i think this is my first blog of the year.. that's bad. lol.
i'm having issues, as usual.
i'm basically in love with my guy best friend but he has a girlfriend. /: plus, i've given up on him. BUT, i do really like this senior that goes to votech but i'm 99.9% positive he doesn't like me.
this is what always happens to me. /: i'm so tired of it..
i got asked out by someone else but he's a little young for my liking. & his texting habits is weird & his parents seem kinda strict. idk tho.. i never do.
i started watching this show called Miracle's Boys last night. it's only on 6 times i think. i've seen 3 episodes out of the 6. but it's starting to make me think that i need to have black friends. i literally only have 1 black friend & he's mixed like me. i feel so out of place now.. i just dunno how to explain it. nobody understands it. i'm almost 17 & i feel like i'm 9. the show seems so realistic. but maybe that's just the stereotypes getting to me. cause they're not thugs. well, one of em kinda is but he's weird. idk how to explain him.
ohmygod, i miss Derek so much. ]: i could always go to him if i had a problem but now i feel like i can't.. i've been meaning to message him but i either forget or chicken out. so i'm just done trying to be his friend...
wow, this is the first time i've went blank tonight.
i watched the hangover part 2 tonight. it was pretty great. made me laugh quite a bit.
Cody kinda watched it too. but he had already seen it. he talked to one of his exes on the phone during it & eventually went to sleep. he snores. lmao.
i'm getting a hoodie from Tyler tomorrow. <3 he smells so amazing. i wore his nike one today & didn't wanna take it off because it smelled like him, it was comfy & warm, & i just wanted to nap in it. i get to sleep in this one tho! :D i hope.
well, i think i've done enough rambling.. i feel a tad bit better i guess. later gators. [not like anyone reads these.]

meh.

so, i haven't blogged in like 3 months? a lot has happened during that time but i doubt i'll remember it all...
first of all, i've decided Jenna, Micah, Brandon, & Austin [also my boyfriend] are the only best friends i have. yeah, i have other friends. but i rarely "talk" to em anymore so there's no reason to call em my best friends.
i went to a mall in Columbus & got some of my Christmas presents. (: the bad thing about that is i know what i got so i want it now.. lol. dang. /:
i really wanna go to Warped in the summer but none of my friends listen to that kind of music. ): soab.
my ex like hates me now, just because i was kidding around with him. for real bro? grow up. & your girlfriend's ugly. just sayin'.
i hate that Austin randomly disappears. ._. i understand if he falls asleep, but if he gets busy or wants to stop texting, then just tell me. gawsh. /:
i've changed a lot since my last relationship. i used to be controlling, jealous, blah blah blah. now i don't care what they do. they can talk/text as many girls as they want, (as long as no flirting is coming from them) they can do anything they want, & so on. as long as they're faithful to me only, we should be okay. (: i'm always faithful to any guy i'm with. i just happen to look sometimes. (; haha. i don't know why i used to be so uptight. that's prolly why i was left in both my amazing past relationships. i just wish i could take back those mistakes.
oh snap. today would've been our one year. how exciting. ._.
i need to call this woman to see if she sold my games but i don't really want to. i have a feeling she didn't anyways, nobody plays those kind of games anymore. lmao.
OMG. i went to a concert one night. it was freaking crazy... but amazing. i drove with Amber & Morgan. but Brandon & Austin were there too. we moshed our hearts out. i took out a few dudes. xD & the lead singer of one of the bands added me on facebook? creep much. but you're hot bro so i honestly don't care. :3
well, i'm tired of rambling. peace. (:

a rant that's been on my mind lately.

people judge others like crazy. if they dress a certain way, act a different way, or just something about them is different, they're judged. who cares? they're them. you're not. you shouldn't judge anyone that you see, meet, etc. you've NEVER walked in their shoes and NEVER will. you don't know their whole story. who gives a flying cow turd if they wear different clothes than you? you shouldn't. because i don't. i don't judge anyone. i'm honestly tired of stereotypes. if there wasn't anything like this going on, the world would be a much, MUCH better place. maybe some people are treated badly at home, that's why they seek attention in public. maybe some people feel like they don't belong, that's why they act differently. maybe some people just want to be accepted, that's why they give in to peer pressure and make bad choices. that doesn't matter. it's their life, let them live it. if you make fun of someone, you're just hurting yourself.

so, who are you to judge someone?

]:

sorry i haven't been blogging guys! D:
it's either i don't have the time, i'm trying to catch some sleep, or i just have nothing to say.
i don't really have anything to say except that i'm sooo stoked for tomorrow. [:
i finally get to be Johnny 3 Tears. <3
i'm worried about my Fishy. ]: (Fishy's his name so that's why it's capitalized, btw.)
ewewew.
there was just a ladybug on my desk and i'm afraid of them. /:
i hate basically any type of bug.
well, i don't have anything else on my mind. lmao.
ttfn! :D

good day?

i'm not sure if today was a good day or not. ._.
tho i'm thinking about someone... [:
TECH N9NE IS THE SHIZNIT.
so, twitter is pretty much my addiction now. xD so feel free to follow me.
a couple of people told me to today they think the guy i told i liked likes me back. but i'm positive they're just saying that to make me feel better. -.- i just wanna be happy with someone... GAHGAHGAH.
i'm not sure what else to say sooo, i'm ending with this nice quote. [:
"you don't have to like me, i'm not a facebook status." <- legit.

I FORGOT!!!

i'm being Johnny 3 Tears for halloween!
I'M SO FREAKING EXCITED!!!


[if you don't know who that is, die.]












[[just kidding. he's a band member of Hollywood Undead. they're amazing. :p]]

gah!

i haven't blogged in a week. >.<
well, not much has happened.
the band did amazing saturday night but the judges thought different. everyone has their own opinions. but i personally think they all were smoking crack that day and we had a terrible time slot; first to compete.
friday night went pretty well. i've never heard "you look so beautiful!" [and any other way you could say that] so many times in one night. ._. as Cody, Michael, and i were standing/walking onto the field, they had me laughing like crazy. i'm glad i picked them. xD they kept me laughing and they're probably the reason i wasn't that nervous. lol. so thanks a lot guys, even tho you don't read this. :p
i did get to dance with Michael a couple of times at the dance tho. ^.^ and Nick and Adam. they were all nice. :D
i finally told the person i like that i liked them yesterday. didn't get the response i dreamed of but yanno, that never happens for me. /: oh well i guess...
is it weird i still want to be friends with my most recent ex? i hope not. cause it's true. tho something he said is utterly ridiculous but i'm not repeating it... -.-
so this kid i used to text forever, and like everyday, gets a girlfriend and boom. i'm basically nonexistant. whatever bro.
i'm worried about my Fishy. ]: he keeps laying in the rocks and i'm afraid he's dying. D: if anyone knows what's wrong with him, please let me know!
i wanna listen to music but i'm not sure what i want to listen to. hmmm...
wow. i turn my itunes on and put it on shuffle and the first thing that comes on is Fergalicious. xDDD
i've had sooo much sleep the past 2 days, it's unbelievable. I FEEL GREAT! :D too bad it's all prolly gonna go away within a couple days. -.-
one of my friends is moving to a different school. ]: i'm gonna miss her greatly!
speaking of moving, i'm tempted to move. /: i'm honestly getting tired of just about everyone here except like 2.
idk tho. i doubt i will. moving schools would be hard. >.<
well, i think i updated everyone enough. so bye bye! :D